Chiefs vs. Texans: The Inevitable vs. The Underdog Who Doesn’t Know It Yet
Let’s set the stage: Patrick Mahomes and the Chiefs are back in action today, squaring off against the Texans in what feels less like a game and more like an audition for the inevitable Chiefs Super Bowl highlight reel. You know the drill. It’s like a Lifetime movie different characters, same happy ending. And by “happy,” I mean Kansas City fans guzzling beer out of a Lombardi Trophy while the rest of us sigh, “Not again…”
On the other side of the field, you’ve got CJ Stroud, the sophomore phenom who’s had a down year compared to his rookie season where it looked like he thought he was still playing at Ohio State. The guy has poise, precision, and a legitimate shot at breaking the infamous Ohio State Quarterback Curse. But let’s be honest—he hasn’t played a playoff game at Arrowhead yet. And as anyone not living in Kansas City will tell you, winning there is harder than hitting a 10-leg parlay.
The Texans have been one of the feel-good stories of the season, but let’s not kid ourselves. The Chiefs in December are like that one buddy who “doesn’t drink much” but then dominates every drinking game: they’ve been here before, they know how this ends, and they’re probably not going to be gracious about it.
As for the game itself? The Texans might put up a fight, but at the end of the day, the Chiefs don’t lose these. Mahomes will do something mind-bending, Andy Reid will whip up a play involving a backup tight end throwing a lateral to a punter, and the Chiefs will walk away with another dub. It’s what they do and no matter how bad we want it to end, it wont. Somehow we actually got another Tom Brady as soon as he retired.
Final Prediction: Chiefs 31, Texans 20. Strap in, Texans fans. You’ll get there eventually (maybe) —but not today. And definitely not at Arrowhead.
So, what’s the pick? The Chiefs are notorious for starting fast, setting the tone, and reminding everyone why they’re the NFL’s answer to Thanos. Meanwhile, Stroud might need a quarter or two to get used to the symphony of booing and cowbells that is Arrowhead. There’s a better chance of my dad coming back from the store after he left 20 years ago to get milk than this shit losing.
The pick of the day:
Chiefs -2.5 first quarter. (-115 Draftkings, 1.15 unit)
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